A recent trip to Costco reminded me of my days workings at the warehouse retail giant. It was a temporary position at the Peterborough Costco during the Christmas rush.

After sending in my résumé electronically, I received a phone call within an hour. Seriously, one hour. My interview took place in the Costco food court and I went in for orientation the next day.

I figured the orientation session might take two-to-three hours to complete. I was there for six freakin’ hours. One guy fell asleep during the six hours. I never saw him again.

My first day was spent outside in the parking lot collecting shopping carts. After minimal training (after all, this wasn’t rocket science), I was given my official rope and told to start rounding up buggies. The rope was long enough to connect eight shopping carts, so you could push them back to the store in a somewhat orderly manner. Piece (more…)

I love my wife Angela, but she thinks differently than I do.

In fact, I think it might be common for men to think differently than women.

So with this in mind, I’ve come up with a short list (which seems to be getting longer every day) that I like to call Angela-isms. A few idiosyncrasies that make her so “special”.

If Angela can’t find something, I perceive that it’s my fault. She doesn’t think  she’s blaming me, but her argument is; I’m the only one who puts anything away, so I should know where everything is. Makes sense, right?

If Angela needs to complete a task, she is very good at doing anything but. If friends are coming over and she has a thousands things to do, it’s usually a good time to watch an episode of Family Guy (her favourite show). If she has to go grocery shopping, suddenly an abandoned silver (more…)

I love dogs, but I’ve never owned one and I probably never will.

Their cute and cuddly, but I couldn’t see myself walking a dog daily. I’m not interested in scheduling my life around a dog’s behaviour. I’m certainly not interested in following a dog along a grassy path, only to end up picking up its poop with a bag wrapped around my hand.

In fact, a famous comedian once said that if aliens from another planet arrived on earth, and saw a dog owner following his dog around with a plastic bag, the alien might wonder who was really in charge.

I love cats. Cats are cool. Cats don’t take a lot of work. Cats aren’t needy. You can go away for a weekend and leave your cat at home with a bowl of food and water.

Not dogs. Dogs are needy. Dogs require constant care. If you went away for a weekend (more…)

I don’t like driving on highways. In fact, they terrify me.

I’m OK with two-lane roads, parkways or laneways. It just the major highways like the 401, QEW or Lakeshore Boulevard that scare the crap out of me.

In fact, I haven’t driven on a major highway in quite awhile…actually it’s been more than 15 years. Fifteen years!!!

I used to love big highways. I used to love driving big highways at night, during rush hour, in the rain, in the snow – OK maybe not the snow, that’s just silly.

And then it hit me one day - sweats, shortness of breath, heart palpitations. A good old-fashioned anxiety attack.

But why?

I remember the first “attack” didn’t happen in a car. It was during a flight off the coast of Fiji in a small floatplane. I enjoyed the take-off as we bounced across the waves. The sky was a beautiful blue and the sun was shining. It (more…)

Hearing a popular country song on the radio the other day reminded me of my experience at last year’s Boots and Hearts Country Music Festival.

Too put it simply, I survived Boots and Hearts. Not a small accomplishment considering I was a 50-something in the midst of a drunken mass of 20-year-olds.

For those not familiar, Boots and Hearts is an annual outdoor country music marathon at Burl’s Creek Campground, just outside Barrie, Ontario. It used to be at another venue, but in five years, it outgrew Mosport Park near Bowmanville and moved to a larger space. It attracts some of the biggest names in country music as well as attracting an atmosphere of non-stop drinking, music and excess. 

My buddy Chris is my best friend and also 50-something. He is a diehard Boots and Hearts veteran. He takes his tent trailer to the event every year, and stays from Wednesday to Monday. The year earlier, he (more…)