It sucks being sober

I have a drinking problem.

No, it's not what you think. You see, my problem is that I'm not allowed to drink.cropped-Jeff-logo.jpg

For anyone who reads my blog, you know that wife Angela and I went to Brazil last September to spend time with a healer named John of God. That's crazy enough for most people, but every time I went for a blessing from him, he gave me a natural, healing prescription.

Wonderful, right?

The only problem is that while taking the prescriptions, it is SUGGESTED that you don't eat spices (not a biggie) and refrain from alcohol (that's a biggie). Stupid me received six blessings from John of God, which means six prescriptions of pills, which means that I can't have an alcoholic beverage until October 2015.


I'm not a raging alcoholic, but I do like a beer now and then and a glass or wine once in a while. But the biggest problem is the "Can't Factor". As soon as you're told that you can't have something, you really, really want it.

On top of that, alcohol is a socially acceptable and socially expected pastime. And it's everywhere.

A recent trip to Phoenix saw me smack dab in the middle of Arizona Beer Week. Over 400 beer drinking events across the city. Really?

And hot weather in Arizona means lounging by the pool. The couple we went with were feeling sorry for me as they mixed up another jug of daiquiri, margarita or sangria. Hey, who can blame them?

A local Mexican restaurant had Happy Hour – tacos for a dollar and margaritas for 2 bucks. That hurt!

But what really brings a tear to my eye is grocery shopping in America. Every grocery store has booze … and lots of it … and real cheap. I can't be the only one who feels like a kid in a candy store when wandering down the alcohol aisle of a U.S. grocery store. Thirty cans of Labatt Blue for $17. Two bottles of Stars and Stripes Vodka (perhaps not the best vodka ever made) for $20. Come on?

A Tops Friendly Market in Buffalo had some great California wine on sale for $5.99. I bought it because it's a great deal, but I can't drink it.

Wine, glorious wine. I've really developed an appreciation for the grape. Sometimes I get carried away with red wine and I look like I have lipstick on.

But for the past six months, my lips have been dry. The only positive aspect – well besides saving my liver and lack of hangovers – is that I have been keeping track of what I would have spent if I was drinking. Since October 2014, I have saved $800 on alcohol sales.

Angela and I are already planning our "Throw Up On The Front Lawn House Party", for sometime in October when we can once again drink. But, to be honest, I really don't miss it that much, it's nice to wake up on a Sunday morning hangover-free and for the first time in my life I'm the designated driver for my buddies.

That counts for something.

One thought on “It sucks being sober

  1. Toni Purdy

    Hi Jeff
    Never realized you wrote a I read all your
    stories. Very interesting. I really enjoyed them, keep
    it up, you haven't lost your touch.

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